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with Mad Mad Madusa

Hello my pretties,

I am Madusa, the mad bitch Goddess of Brutal Reality.

Look into my eyes, um, eye and you will see reflected back the tragic frippery of your shallow fakeness.

Be Real. Obey.

I, mad mad Madusa, say DO UNTO YOUR OWN FACE WHAT YOU WISH.

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If you want to look like a reupholstered ferret, go right ahead, Ferret Face.

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Some medicos grab the $$$$ treating those with faked up views of their own bodies – BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER – to create FREAKY FOLK.

Are these FREAKY FOLK? You decide.

Jocelyn Wildenstein

The Inflate-a-date-ectomy!

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Donatella Versace

The Muppet-Me Makeover

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Mickey Rourke

The Donatella-oscopy

Melanie Giffiths

Botoxic Shock

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Nip ‘n Tuck Queen Cher

My Plastic Surgeon Made Lady Gaga Outa My Leftovers!!!!

Fake Bananas: 

Madam Madusa says ‘ The secret to my youthful complexion is to use a very old photograph.’

Teens fake licenses and fake IDs to buy grog, to get into nightclubs and to feel mature, sophisticated and pimple free for three minutes prior to ending the evening with their head down one or other toilet.


Sold as NOVELTY ID cards  along with Fake Passports are used by terrorists, Jason Bourne – if that’s his real name, the CIA and assorted creepy types for no good purpose.

But no Fake Passport is better than this:

And I bring you a quote from the Evening Mail, Scotland:
Interviewed after his release by the Austrian Border Police, Mr John Louvet, an investigative journalist, agreed that he had been travelling throughout Europe with a snap of his neighbour’s cocker spaniel ‘Chummy’ as his passport photograph. A police spokesman said ‘It was a very good likeness’.
 

Look at the possibilities:

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘to err is human, to grrr is canine!’

Fake TV: Rent-a-Wolf

Experienced wildlife filmmaker Chris Palmer shocked the public when he exposed some of the tricks used by nature filmmakers in his book Shooting in the Wild: An insider’s account of making movies in the animal kingdom.

The ‘wild’ wolves in the IMAX film, Wolves, were rented from a wildlife park and released from cages in the game park. A wolf could cost US$5,000 to rent.

Meanwhile, Chris told The New Scientist ‘One classic trick involves hiding jellybeans in carcasses. If you see a bear feeding on a dead elk in a film, you can be pretty sure that the bear was hired from a game farm and is looking for sweets hidden in the carcass by the film-makers.’


Yum! Film Crew! They Shoulda Brung the Jelly Beans

See also ABC News

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Rent-A-Rat could be a for a nature doco or where you find an online date.’

You Light Up My OMG

This is a parody, my little Sweeties, of  ‘You light up my life’ written by Joe Brooks and it became a hit in 1977 when sung by Debby Boone, daughter of Mr Nice-Guy crooner Pat Boone.

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You light up my loo

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You give me soap

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To carry on

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You light up my toes

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‘n light my nose all night long

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You light up my lashes

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You zap my zits 


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Bulldoze each scar 


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You brighten my butt 


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‘n Hollywood my bra

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You light up my date 


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You gave him hope 


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That he might score


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I thought otherwise 


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And so he hit the floor.

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He wasn’t put off 


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He married me 
 


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You light our sex life 


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You light up our fish 


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We catch loads

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And ev’ry Christmas 


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The power grid explodes.

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Fake Bananas:

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Madam Madusa says ‘With your new night glo brain … every time you think a light shines out your ears. Guess, we’ll still be left in the dark then! ‘

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Dumb and Dumber TV Decor

TVs are Bad.

TVs are Ugly.

The solution???

Hide them in even

 uglier decor.


1. The Invasion of the Creepy Underbed Brain Snatchers!

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2. The World’s Ugliest TV Camouflage Cabinet

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3. Burn the DVD: Real Flame with Home Entertainment Centre

More @ Living Direct

4.  Fake Fireplace but the TV is hot?

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5. OMG! I look like a NCIS Corpse in my Bathroom Mirror TV

More @ HIdden TV

6. Mirror! Mirror on the Wall Who’s the Ugliest TV of All

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7. Over My Dead Body  Coffin Stacker TV Cabinet

8. Bugger the TV. Just Hide the Liquor


9. It’s Hell in my Padded Cell

more @ Elite

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa asks ‘If your life was a TV show would you watch it or click it off?’

What these crazy wedding cake toppers are trying to say?

In the next photo

I’ll balance your balls on my nose.

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With this, ah, ring I thee wed.

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My Heart will go on,

but my liver’s had it.

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Ha! I’ve hooked your Wedding Tackle!

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OMG! Ken, you’re right. You haven’t got one!

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Do you think it’s going to rain, dear?

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Now for the bridal toast:

Open Up the Legos

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘I thought the people I knew were normal until I married one’.

Pimp My Pooch

Yeah! Yeah! I’m a Mary Poppin’s Pooch in a strong wind.

Funny thing though. I get to pee at the top of the lamp post. Nice.

bat dog

Na nanananana Bat Dog!

Catwomen be afraid. Be very afraid.

o-MICHAEL-JACKSON-DOG-570

My owner says I’m Michael Jackson

Sooo not true. I’m Russell Brand.

fire engine corgi

How do I put out fires? Don’t ask.

It’s pathetic! I asked for Armani and they gave me this!

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I’m a poodle House Frau cross. That makes me a Froodle!!!!!

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The humiliation. Oh, the humiliation! I’m a Hello Kitty Chihuahua!

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Some are mad and some are truly BARKING MAD!’.