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Archive for the ‘3. Deadly’ Category

Fake Grass is Evil.

Fake Grass is the Enemy.

Fake Grass is not GRASS, it’s PLASTIC.

And it’s taking over the world.

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It begins with a fake garden.

Note: Artificial flowers.

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Then the FAKE GRASS moves indoors

bewildering dogs and small children.

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Next people cover their whole house in FAKE GRASS.

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Councils order FAKE GRASS Christmas trees.

This one in Poole, UK, is alleged to have cost £14,000.

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FAKE Grass becomes a fashion item.

These clothes were designed in 2009 by April Long, Boston, MA.

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Then celebrities get on the bandwagon.

This is Madonna in Haute Couture FAKE GRASS.

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Next comes the FAKE GRASS limos.

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Everyone wants a FAKE GRASS car.

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FAKE GRASS buses become the inner city eco-fake-friendly option.

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Finally, you cannot leave home without donning your fetching FAKE GRASS hat.

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘This is what happens, kiddies, when you smoke too much FAKE Weed.’

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They can be feathery.

 They can be furry.

But they are ALL FREAKIN’ FRIGHTENING!

I’m talking about FAUX FAUNA.

The Faux Fauna invasion begins innocently with the odd fake flamingo.

Then you can’t stop them. They overrun your place.

You are surrounded by Fake Flamingos.

Someone starts up Save the Faux Fauna campaign because they are cute,

cuddly and too hard to find outside a zoo.

The next thing your backyard is overrun by Japanese tourists!

Other folk claim Fake Fauna protects the environment.

 Fake Owls scare away the enemy.

Fake snakes scare away the enemy.

The enemy is birds. REAL BIRDS!!

Real birds can upset your favourite tellie show and stuff.

Floating Fake Crocodiles scare off those nasty bird invaders,

Alfred Hitchcock and small children.

If you cannot afford the full Fake Crocodile all you need is a

Floating Fake Crocodile head.

Then the next thing you know Police turn up to kill your Faux Croc.

On 6 Jun 2011 Officers in Independence, a Kansas City suburb,

fired two shots at a Fake Croc but it did not die.

According to a police spokesman,” In hindsight, it’s humorous”.

“But we have to take every call seriously.”

The Concrete croc was all shook up, but survived!!!!

The Faux Fawn was not so lucky. Poor Bambie!!!

On 9 DEC 2009 NBC29 WVIR Charlottesville reports that two men

were arrested In a Fake Deer Sting


They were caught red-handed after deputies used a decoy deer to catch the suspects. The sheriff says they used a 12-gauge shotgun to blow off the deer’s tail.

The Faux Fawn community were saddened to hear the news of Bambi’s shooting.

But they cheered up to discover today there is life after lawn for every Faux Fawn.

At home with his Faux Trophy Friends.

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Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Faux Cat!!! I’m going to call my fake feline, Faux Cat. I swear, I will.’

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