Crazy Wedding Cake Toppers: You May Kitschthe Bride

What these crazy wedding cake toppers are trying to say?

In the next photo

I’ll balance your balls on my nose.

.

With this, ah, ring I thee wed.

.

My Heart will go on,

but my liver’s had it.

.

Ha! I’ve hooked your Wedding Tackle!

.
OMG! Ken, you’re right. You haven’t got one!

.

Do you think it’s going to rain, dear?

.

Now for the bridal toast:

Open Up the Legos

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘I thought the people I knew were normal until I married one’.

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39. Elvis Presley – Hound Dog

 

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog

 

cryin’ all the time.

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog

cryin’ all the time.

 Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit

and you ain’t no friend of mine.

………………………………………………………………

Weird Elvis Merch:

It’s one for the money ….. two for the money … three for the money … etc

Take home your very own Zombie Elvis head.

Wouldn’t Zombie Elvis like peanut butter sandwiches

rather than brains?

I just wanna be your bathtub duck!

It is the Elvis M&M Xmas decoration!

This is so wrong in so many ways

it makes the Zombie Elvis head look good. 

…………………………………………………

Weird Elvis Tributes:

Elvis fans are a little weird, right? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Well, you can knock me down
Step in my face …..

Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your touch

….. actually, I’ve hungered for your brain!!!

Don’t step on my blue suede ,um, face!

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog 

… taken a step too far.

……………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Well, do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh
Honey, lay off of my Elvis’.

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38. Nirvana – Come As You Are

Come

as you are

as you were

as I want you to be

as a friend

as a friend

as an old enemy

take your time

hurry up

the choice is your

don’t be late

take a rest

as a friend

as an old memoria

memoria

memoria

memoria

 

 

and I swear

that I don’t have a gun

no I don’t have a gun

no I don’t have a gun

no I don’t have a gun

 

memoria

memoria

……………………………………………………………………….

Weird Kurt Cobain Tributes:

Skinny Kurt Cappaccino

OK, doll! Where did you sleep last night?

Kurt Cobain My Little Pony Tribute

The first My Little Pony who ‘Hates itself and wants to die‘.

…………………………………………………………

Weird Kurt Cobain Merch:

 Jesus doesn’t want me for a sunbeam, 

He wants me for a Christmas Decoration.

The Man Who Sold the World 

… also does a line in cute Kurt watches.

Sacred Heart of Kurt Candle

Light my candles in a daze ’cause I’ve found god

…………………………………………………

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Who thought up the Kurt Cobain My Little Pony? No. I don’t have a gun just when I need one’ 

. 

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35. The Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen

God save the Queen

the fascist regime,

they made you a moron

a potential H-bomb.

God save the Queen

she ain’t no human being.

There is no future

in England’s dreaming

…………………………………………………..

Weird Sex Pistols Tributes:

Sid Glorous Sid …..

Your brains are locked away but I love your company

Watch out for this one ‘cos ….

I wanna destroy the passerby

‘Cos I wanna be anarchy,

No dogs body

The anti-christ Lego Men 4 Pack

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Weird Sex Pistols  Merch:

Vomit sold separately.

Anarchists play golf now?

Yes, it is the Age of Irony

How sweet is this Sid Vicious doll? 

Yep, more irony

…………………………………………………

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘No matter how loud Sid and the boys did roar once you market anarchy, it ain’t anarchy no more’. 

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34. Elvis Presley – Jailhouse Rock

The warden threw a party in the county jail.

The prison band was there and they began to wail.

The band was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing

You should’ve heard those knocked out jailbirds sing.

Let’s rock, everybody, let’s rock.

Everybody in the whole cell block

was dancin’ to the Jailhouse Rock.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Weird Elvis Tributes:

Love me tortoise, love me do.

Elvis Christmas Tree Topper ….

O Star of Wonder, Star of Might

A pooch, a pooch a burnin’ love!

Weird Elvis Merch:

She’s not You,

And you’re not him even with the dodgy  side burns.

 

Devils in disguise, perhaps?

Mr Potato Head Presely

Love Me Tender, Love me New

Roasted, fried or stewed!

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa asks ‘How can they be so cruel to a heart that’s true?’

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33. The Beatles – I am the Walrus

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.

I’m crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.

Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday.

Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.

 

I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.

 

Mister city policeman sitting

Pretty little policemen in a row.

See how they fly like lucy in the sky, see how they run.

 

I’m crying, I’m crying.

I’m crying, I’m crying.

………………………………………………..

Weird Beatles Tributes:

Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band … 

not so lonely this time round

at the London Olympics.

John Lennon possibly composing the lyrics ….

Help me if you can I’m feeling …

like an idiot, chilly, breezy, like a dick

… down!!!

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Weird Beatles Merch:

 

I wanna hold your … yellow prong thing.

Paul with sucking monster .. named, let me see, Heather?

 

This album suggests The Fool on the Hill has gone postal again.

I saw her sanding there at the Sand Sculpture Festival Timmendorfer Strand beach, Germany.

Beatles in Breakfast food

 

……………………………………………………………………..

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Obviously, its bean a hard day’s night.’ 

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32. Simon and Garfunkel – The Boxer

Then I’m laying out my winter clothes

And wishing I was gone

Going home

Where the New York City winters aren’t bleeding me

Bleeding me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer

And a fighter by his trade

And he carries the reminders

Of ev’ry glove that layed him down

 

Or cut him till he cried out

 In his anger and his shame

“I am leaving, I am leaving”

But the fighter still remains.

………………………………………………………………..

Weird Simon & Garfunkel Merch:

Mrs Robinson sold separately with Dustin Hoffman doll

sporting removable white y-fronts.

Expect a few fights then ……

I went out to look for America and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Weird Simon & Garfunkel Tributes:

Simon and Garfunkel are, apparently, the group mostly likely to inspire bad impersonations … all it takes is a mo, a cap and a wig.

The hair may be attached to the cap in both cases.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Here’s a cute Simon & Garfunkel SONG tribute. Guess which one?

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Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘And in the naked light I saw 10,000 bad haircuts, maybe more’.

 

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31. Metallica – Enter Sandman

Say your prayers little one

Don’t forget, my son

To include everyone

Tuck you in, warm within

keep you free from sin

 till the sandman he

sleep with one eye open

gripping your pillow tight

CHORUS

Exit, light

Enter, Night

Take my hand

we’re off to never-never land

………………………………………………………….. 

Weird Metallica Tributes:

The To Hell and Back Pizza

with that burning Metallica after-taste.

This Porsche runs on bourbon shots.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Weird Metallica Merch:

For the baby whose eyes

light up at night.

If you have to wear a tie

you ain’t Heavy Metal material.

Do you even have a scary tattoo or a drinking problem?

You do not Go to Jail in this game.

You go directly to Hell.

Time marches on

For whom the bell tolls,

But you can always keep warm in

the Hail Satan Nursing Home

in a Metallica lap rug.

………………………………………………………….. 

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says‘The higher you are, The farther you fall 

The longer the walk , The farther you crawl.

The bigger the horse, the bigger the stall.’

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30. The Beatles – Yellow Submarine

In the town where I was born

Lived a man who sailed to sea

And he told us of his life

In the land of submarines

 

So we sailed up to the sun

Till we found the sea of green

And we lived beneath the waves

In our yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

…………………………………….

Weird Beatles Tribute:

Yellow Submarine hotel

You might want your money back if it goes underwater!

Aren’t Beatles fans, like, Seniors now?

Will you still neeed me? Will you still feed me,

Will you still sleep with me when I’m 64

and sleep in a Yellow Submarine Bed.

Or, be like Beatles fan Gary Cooper and convert your car to

a Yellow Submarine.

Lucky he wasn’t a fan of I am the Walrus.

Walruses do not hold the road well.

………………………………….

Weird Beatles Merch:

John and weird creepy creature

named Yoko, perhaps!

Hallucinating Y-fronts!

Whatever turns you on, I guess.

In a sea of yellow you cannot see

a yellow submarine.

Don’t fight it. This is deep.

………………………………………………………….

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Never forget those memorable words I want to hold your hand because I’ve fallen overboard and you’re still in the boat.’

 

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