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Posts Tagged ‘Funny Jesus Merchandise’

with Mad Mad Madusa

Hello my pretties,

I am Madusa, the mad bitch Goddess of Brutal Reality.

Look into my eyes, um, eye and you will see reflected back the tragic frippery of your shallow fakeness.

Be Real. Obey.

I, mad mad Madusa, say DO UNTO YOUR OWN FACE WHAT YOU WISH.

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If you want to look like a reupholstered ferret, go right ahead, Ferret Face.

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Some medicos grab the $$$$ treating those with faked up views of their own bodies – BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER – to create FREAKY FOLK.

Are these FREAKY FOLK? You decide.

Jocelyn Wildenstein

The Inflate-a-date-ectomy!

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Donatella Versace

The Muppet-Me Makeover

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Mickey Rourke

The Donatella-oscopy

Melanie Giffiths

Botoxic Shock

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Nip ‘n Tuck Queen Cher

My Plastic Surgeon Made Lady Gaga Outa My Leftovers!!!!

Fake Bananas: 

Madam Madusa says ‘ The secret to my youthful complexion is to use a very old photograph.’

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with Mad Mad Madusa

mad mad madusa widgetHello My Pretties,

I am Madusa, the mad bitch Godess of Brutal Reality.

Look into my eyes, um, eye and you will see reflected back the tragic frippery of your shallow fakeness.

Be Real. Obey.

……………………………………..

At last, here it is …

…………………………………….

…………………………………….

The Top 40  Salt and Pepper Shakers

of Rock and Roll:

40. The Mamas and The Papas – Dancing in the streets

39. Elvis Presley – Hound Dog

38. Nirvana – Come As You Are

37. Peter, Paul and Mary – Puff the Magic Dragon

36. Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds – Into My Arms

35. The Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen

34. Elvis Presley – Jailhouse Rock

33. The Beatles – I am the Walrus

32. Simon and Garfunkel – The Boxer

31. Metallica – Enter Sandman

30. The Beatles – Yellow Submarine

29. Pixies – Where Is My Mind?

28. Gloria Gaynor – I will Survive

27. Deep Purple – Soldier of Fortune

26. Michael Jackson Thriller

25. Eagles Desperado

24. Elvis Presley – Blue Suede Shoes

23. Bob Dylan – Lay Lady Lay

22. The Beatles – Ob-La-di Ob-La-dah

21. Powderfinger – These Days

20. Creedance Clearwater Revival – Proud Mary

19. White Stripes – Seven Nation Army

18. Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

17. Janis Joplin – Me and Bobbie McGee

16. The Beach Boys – California Girls

15. Roy Orbison – Pretty Woman

14. Eric Clapton – Cocaine

13. Radiohead – Creep

12. The Beatles – Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

11. REM – Everybody Hurts

10. Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi

9. The Beatles – Yesterday

8. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under The Bridge

7. Bob Dylan – Blowin’ in the Wind

6. Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody

5. Radiohead – Paranoid Android

4. Pink Floyd – Another Brick in the Wall

3. Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah

2. Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven

1. Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

plus

The Worst Rock Merchandise EVER.

You’ll find more weird merch and crazy fan tributes @ each link.

10. Kurt Cobain Doll

My doll, my doll, don't you lie to me, tell me where did you sleep last night?

My doll, my doll, don’t you lie to me, tell me where did you sleep last night?

9. The Metallica Pizza

The To Hell and Back Pizza with that burning Metallica after-taste.

The To Hell and Back Pizza
with that burning Metallica after-taste.

8. Nick Cave Push Puppet

But when I crawl into your arms Everything, it comes tumbling down

But when I crawl into your arms
Everything, it comes tumbling down

7. Bob Dylan Baby Suit

And watch out for whatever is ‘blowin’ in the wind too.

And watch out for whatever is ‘blowin’ in the wind too.

6. Butchering The Beatles LP

I wanna hold your LIVER.

I wanna hold your LIVER.

5. Elvis Zombie Tattoo

Oh, my love, my darling I’ve hungered for your brain!

Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your brain!

4. Sid Vicious Doll

Vomit sold separately

Vomit sold separately

3. Yellow Submarine John Lennon Doll

John Lennon Doll with Creepy Creature.  It could be named Yoko, not sure.

John Lennon Doll with Creepy Creature.
It could be named Yoko, not sure.

2. Michael Jackson Doll with Extra Hands

A Michael Jackson Doll with 9 extra hands.  That's freaking creepy.

A Michael Jackson Doll with 9 extra hands.
That’s freaking creepy.

1. Radiohead Thom Yorke Nipple Tattoo

'I couldn’t look you in the eye’ lyrics taken to another level altogether.

‘I couldn’t look you in the eye’ lyrics taken to another level altogether.

You can get all the Killer Kitsch you want, at Mad Madusa’s Restaurant.

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Bargain Bin Jesus wants you to ……….

1. be sweet

BB Jesus is the King of the Jubes

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 2. be a gorgeous thing

If you covet your neighour’s ass instead of  your own, don’t go to the gym or try liposuction,

go for the Get Tight with Christ product line.Miracle results guaranteed.

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3. be happy

On the 6th day god made beer and all was fair and right with the world.

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4. get some bling

BB Jesus says it is hard for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven, but a poor man can wander in covered in bling.

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5. light up

Smokers shall not enter the righteous heavenly realm of non-smokers, but they do get to hang around outside Pearly Gates with other smokers for eternity. 

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6. get loud

BB Jesus says forgive them father for they know not what psalms to do.

(And psalms are like so 5 centuries ago.)

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7. get high

BB Jesus sayeth chill, man. Lie down in green pastures and, like, whatever!

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8. get off his cloud

Earn more frequent holy flier points and be closer my God to thee

all at the same time.

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9. make a buck

BB Jesus says don’t sell your soul to the devil, why not lease it?

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10. make a wish

BB Jesus says even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I’d prefer to drive.

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11. scare little kids

Then the creepy balloon guy created some really ugly hats.

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12. speak ENGRISH

When robots take over the world, you will be ruled by eVille.

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Fake Bananas:

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Madam Madussa says ‘He who loveth Bargain Bin Jesus shall enter the Kingdom of a One Star Rated Heaven, twin-share for eternity. ‘

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Acknowledgments: Bargain Bin Jesus sources: 1 walking with jesus jubes holidash, 2 LookinGoodJesus lipbalm   evolvefish, 3 jesus-beer     inquisitr, 4 hip hop bling kayne jesus, 5  jesus zippo lighter  jesusgetsaround, 6 jesus boom box anonymous, 7 JesusPillbox   evolvefish, 8 jesus balloon   freshcoolpics, 9 money    american jesus, 10 PatronSaintParking  stotto   evolvefish, 11 balloon jesus anon, 12 god-jesus-toy-robot incrediblethings.

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