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This piece began as a parody of  the classic American spiritual song ‘He’s got he whole world in his hands’ and then got terribly distracted.

He’s got the whole world on his butt

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She’s got the whole world on her butt

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She’s got a big mutt on her butt.

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He’s got Disney world on his buns

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He’s got Disney world on his buns

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He’s got some big guns on his buns

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He’s got a big joke on his arse

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He’s got a big joke on his arse

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He’s got some long grass on his arse

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She’s got college kid’s world on her bum

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He’s got college kids world on his bum

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She’s got the party drum on her bum.

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He’s got gamer’s world on his rear

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He’s got gamer’s world on his rear

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She’s got a cute bear on her rear

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She’s got make-believe on her tush

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She’s got make-believe on her tush

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He’s got a George Bush on his tush

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Acknowledgements: Amaaazing tattoos sourced @: 1 world oddee, 2 map  tattoospicturegallery, 3 wolf   rate my tattoo, 4 save elmo  buzzfeed, 5 dwarfs  i-am-bored, 6 gun butt  comedycentra, 7 alma fudd   rankmytattoo, 8 simpson butt  43things, 9 motor mower   collegehumor, 10grass  collegehumor, 11 drink    rankmytattoos, 12 bongo bottom  myfirstbodypainting, 13 pacman butt  tattoodonkey, 14 mario bros  kotaku, 15 bear  tattoodonkey, 16 fairy   bouncinbards,  17 tree butt  gegek, 18 bushbutt  lolviral, 19 the end collegehumor.

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Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Don’t trust Garden Gnomes. They’re not hangin’ in your garden, they’re casing the joint.’

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Parody of Stuck in the Middle With You, a 1972 hit song by the folk rock band Stealers Wheel.

Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,

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I got the feeling that something ain’t right,

I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,

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And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,

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Clowns to the left of me,

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Jokers to the right, here I am,

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Stuck in the middle with you.

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Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,

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And I’m wondering what it is I should do,

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It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,

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Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,

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Clowns to the left of me,

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Jokers to the right,

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Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

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Well you started out with nothing,

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And you’re proud that you’re a self made girl,

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And your friends, they all come crawlin,

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Slap you on the back and say,

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Please…. Please…..

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Trying to make some sense of it all,

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But I can see that it makes no sense at all,

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Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,

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‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore

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Princess Beatrice Doll

Clowns to the left of me,

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Jokers to the right,

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Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

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Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,

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I got the feeling that something ain’t right,

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I’m so scared, should I bump one off one’s throne?

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Or sit at home playing with my cell phone?

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Clowns to the left of me,

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Jokers to the right, here I am,

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Stuck in the middle with you,

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Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,

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royal wedding  uk msn

Stuck in the middle with you.

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Acknowledgements of Awesome knits:

1 will & kate theknitter, 2 knit zombie gigisoddsandends, 3 knitted chair etsy, 4 knit stair deviantart, 5 footmen Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble, 6 prince harry doll ditto, 7 engaged couple the examiner, 8 Royal Wedding 2 Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble, 9 naked man russell-tovey, 9a man doll anonymous, 10 unstuffed doll anonymous, 11a knitted bishop Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble, 11b knit russell brand  whatthemovie, 12 knit royal kiss thetelegraph, 13 beachbabe doll etsy, 14 kate-knit-wedding Country Living, 15 knit punk doll t0.gstatic, 16 knitted pink redbubble, 17 zombie please daioy chump, 18 zombie 2 t0.gstatic, 19 confused doll awesometwilightmusings, 20 knit floor itsonrandom, 21 munch scream doll kaboodle, 22a princess beatrice barbie t1.gstatic, 22b dame edna westerndollmaker, 23 knit yr own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble, 24 knit in bed bohaychronicles, 25 knit naked harriet1, 26 queen on chair Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble, 27 knit iphone 2 crunchgear, 28 Camilla & Charles dolls Fiona Goble, 29 morrissey doll busymitts, 30 kate & w close oohlalascrap, 31 knit yr own Royal Wedding, 32 knit kiss Knit Your Own Royal Wedding Fiona Goble

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How many kinds of sweet flowers grow

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In an English country garden?

We’ll tell you now of some that we know


Those we miss you’ll surely pardon


Daffodils,

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heart’s ease

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and phlox


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Meadowsweet

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and lady smocks


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Gentian,

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lupin

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and tall hollyhocks


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Roses,

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foxgloves,

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snowdrops,

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forget-me-nots


 .

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In an English country garden

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How many insects come here and go


In an English country garden?


We’ll tell you now of some that we know


Those we miss you’ll surely pardon


 .

Fireflies,

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moths

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and bees


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Spiders climbing in the trees


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Butterflies drift in the gentle breeze


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There are snakes,

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ants that sting


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And other creeping things


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In an English country garden

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How many songbirds fly to and fro


In an English country garden?


We’ll tell you now of some that we know


Those we miss you’ll surely pardon


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Bobolink,

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cuckoo

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and quail


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Tanager

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and cardinal
Bluebird,

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lark,

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thrush

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and nightingale


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There is joy in the spring


When the birds begin to sing


 .

In an English country garden

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This is a very delicious parody, My Sweeties, of Don’t Let the Rain Come Down (Crooked Little Man) written by singer songwriter Ersel Hickey and turned into a Hit Single by The Serendipity Singers in 1964.

CHORUS

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(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

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(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

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(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

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You’ll want a lot of stupid stuff that’s so wrong.

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Oh, yes, you’ll want a lot of stupid stuff that’s so wrong.

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There was a chocolate man and he had a chocolate smile

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Had a chocolate sixpence and he walked a chocolate mile

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Had a chocolate cat and he had a chocolate mouse

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.

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They all lived together in a chocolate little house

CHORUS

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Well, this chocolate little man and his chocolate little wife

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Had two chocolate kids and a lovely chocolate life

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Bought a chocolate tellie. Surfed the channels click click.

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Now he wants a lot of cool stuff quick quick quick.

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CHORUS

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Now this chocolate little man wants a bigger chocolate house

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Bigger chocolate car and a designer chocolate spouse

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He owes a lot of money on his chocolate credit card

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He dropped dead of stress and was buried in the yard.

  .

CHORUS

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(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

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(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

.

(Ah, ah) Oh, no, don’t turn the tellie on

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You’ll want a lot of stupid stuff that is wrong.

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Oh, yes, you’ll want a lot of stupid stuff that is wrong.

 .

Madam Madussa says ‘It may be that your sole purpose in life is to consume chocolate.’

.

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Acknowledgements: Pics of extraordinary Choc creations from: 1 TV cake  gorgeouscakes, 2 tv  cakecentral, 3 TV cakecentral, 4 lipstick  bahamaschocolate, 5 traniers  oddee, 6 man  lapetiteparis, 7 street   anon, 8a cat   examiner, 8b mouse aimeejodesserts, 9 house  figjamandlimecordial, 10 hershey chocolate people   blogher, 11 baby  charlinda, 12 TV kimmyskakes, 13 corporate gadget nexus404, 14 mansion  anon, 15a  sports car   aubergechocolat, 15b  goddess  cocoa-heaven, 16  creditcard dadsinthekitchenblog, 17 deathbychoc tombstone yournameinchocolate, 21 thongs  flickr, 22 shoes  oddee.

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