Fake TV: Rent-a-Wolf

Experienced wildlife filmmaker Chris Palmer shocked the public when he exposed some of the tricks used by nature filmmakers in his book Shooting in the Wild: An insider’s account of making movies in the animal kingdom.

The ‘wild’ wolves in the IMAX film, Wolves, were rented from a wildlife park and released from cages in the game park. A wolf could cost US$5,000 to rent.

Meanwhile, Chris told The New Scientist ‘One classic trick involves hiding jellybeans in carcasses. If you see a bear feeding on a dead elk in a film, you can be pretty sure that the bear was hired from a game farm and is looking for sweets hidden in the carcass by the film-makers.’

Yum! Film Crew! They Shoulda Brung the Jelly Beans

See also ABC News

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Rent-A-Rat could be a for a nature doco or where you find an online date.’

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Dumb and Dumber TV Decor

TVs are Bad.

TVs are Ugly.

The solution???

Hide them in even

 uglier decor.

1. The Invasion of the Creepy Underbed Brain Snatchers!

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2. The World’s Ugliest TV Camouflage Cabinet

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3. Burn the DVD: Real Flame with Home Entertainment Centre

More @ Living Direct

4.  Fake Fireplace but the TV is hot?

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5. OMG! I look like a NCIS Corpse in my Bathroom Mirror TV

More @ HIdden TV

6. Mirror! Mirror on the Wall Who’s the Ugliest TV of All

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7. Over My Dead Body  Coffin Stacker TV Cabinet

8. Bugger the TV. Just Hide the Liquor

9. It’s Hell in my Padded Cell

more @ Elite

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa asks ‘If your life was a TV show would you watch it or click it off?’

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Pimp My Pooch

Yeah! Yeah! I’m a Mary Poppin’s Pooch in a strong wind.

Funny thing though. I get to pee at the top of the lamp post. Nice.

Na nanananana Bat Dog!

Catwomen be afraid. Be very afraid.

My owner says I’m Michael Jackson

Sooo not true. I’m Russell Brand.

How do I put out fires? Don’t ask.

It’s pathetic! I asked for Armani and they gave me this!

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I’m a poodle House Frau cross. That makes me a Froodle!!!!!

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The humiliation. Oh, the humiliation! I’m a Hello Kitty Chihuahua!

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Some are mad and some are truly BARKING MAD!’.

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To Fill the Unfillable Bra

With apologies to Joe Darion and all Man of La Mancha Devotees.

 

To dream … the impossible dream …

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To fight … the unbeatable foe …

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To bear … with unbearable sorrow …

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To run … where the brave dare not go …

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To right … the unrightable wrong …

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To love … pure and chaste from afar …

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To try … when your arms are too weary …

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To fill … the unfillable bra …

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This is my quest, to fill up that bra …

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No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …

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 To fight for a bust, without question or pause …

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To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause …

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And I know though I’m flat assed too, with a glorious bust,

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That my heart will lie peaceful and calm,

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when I’m laid to my rest …

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And the world will be better for this:

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That one girl, scorned for undersized bras,

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Still strove, with her last ounce of courage,

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To fill … the unfillable bra …

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Fake Bananas:

Madam Madussa says ‘Thanks for the Mammaries’.

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Solar Pets 1

Why worry your pretty little heads about cleaning up after Fluffy or Woofy

when you can have your very own

SOLAR MEERKATS.

They wobble.

They glo-in-the-dark.

They go nicely with your glo-in-the-dark pith helmet

and  life-sized, inflatable David Attenborough!

Buy @ Solar Powered Meerkats

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Bewarned: This is what those ad gurus call meerkating to the masses.’

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Solar Pets 2

What a Hoot!

Now you can have your very own owl

just like Harry Potter’s owl,

Hedwig.

It hoots. It wobbles. It’s eyes glo-in-the-dark.

And – as in the ad – it terrifies cartoon cats!

Buy @ Solar Products

Or, why not buy 2 and have a lovely pair of HOOTERS.

But if you want your owl, say, Hedwacked,  to deliver letters

like Hedwig, attach a letter to him

with a rubber band and throw it at the postman.

(If the postman gets angry,just

hide under your glo-in-the-dark solar-powered invisibility cape)

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Owl be seeing you/In all the old familiar places / That this heart of mine embraces / All day through … and now at night/ ‘cos I’m solar too!!!!

with apologies to Jimmy Durante.

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Solar Pets 3

Now you too can Toucan with these solar jungle birds.

And there is nothing like a glo-in-the dark cockatoo!

Ha!

Buy @ Solar Jungle Birds

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Polly might be pretty but you can’t beat a glo-in-the-dark shag on a rock.’

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Facebook: Special Moments with your Special Man

Share some of those special moments on Facebook with the special man in your life and to ‘Show the world you love him’ add some very special lyrics by the Queen of Nashville, Tammy Wynette’s .

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Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman

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 Giving all your love to just one man

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You’ll have bad times

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And he’ll have good times

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Doin’ things that you don’t understand

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But if you love him

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You’ll forgive him

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Even though he’s hard to understand

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And if you love him

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Oh, be proud of him

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Cause after all he’s just a man

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Stand by your man

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Give him two arms to cling to

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And something warm to come to

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when nights are cold and lonely

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Stand by your man

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And show the world you love him

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Keep giving all the love you can

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Stand by your man

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Fake Bananas:

Madam Madussa says ‘ Show the world you love him, then deflate him, pop him into his handy tote bag and store him until next time. Perfect.’

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Get Fit Gizmos Go Bananas

The Giddyup Core Exerciser:

Then Get Down and Dirty with some Rough Chaps!

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ROM 4-minute X-trainer comes with 6 reindeer

and GPS set for the South Pole. Time Travel App an Optional Extra.

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The AB Swing II: Swingers Have Twice the Fun Swinging with Two

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The AB Swing Hi Tech Prostate Exam/Vasectomy Combo Kit Deck Chair

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The AB Rocket: Launch

Yourself into Orbit Today

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The AB Shaper: How to Grow A Child in a Bottle

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BR-AB Shaper: 101 Things to Do with a Square Hula Hoop

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Chi Activator: Look Slim in an Instant by Stapling XS Fat Under Your Armpits

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AB Slider? No, I’m Trying to Build an IKEA Steel-Frame Bar Stool

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The Bean Exciser: Ideal for Birth and invert for Conception!

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Upper Body Exerciser Warning: Incorrect Useage May Case Blindness

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Back Stretcher or DIY Water Boarding Equipment for Your Bath

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Treadmill Bike: For Joggers who want to be Wankers

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Eliptico 3c Bike: For Joggers who want to be fitter, faster  Wankers

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The Gazelle Freestyle because, obviously, Gazelles Run Free in Walking Frames.

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The Summer Skier: Pole Dancing for Geeky Guys

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The Therma-Roll: Corrugate Your Butt to Get a Good non-Slip Grip on Plastic Chairs

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The Weighted Vest: If You Hadn’t Lost all that Weight You Fool, You wouldn’t need a Weighted Vest now, would you?

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The 3-Minute Legs: The Quickie for the single Girl in a Hurry

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The Excel Body Gym Orgasmatron!

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Trainer Med: The New Portable DIY HOme Torture Rack for the Fitness Aware Masochist

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The Freeform Board doubles as Hallelujah Praise-the-Lord Tambourine for Biblecise Classes

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Fake Bananas:

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Madam Madussa says ‘Bewarned: Once you step on that treadmill you can’t get off because you can never out run your own butt.’

Acknowledgements: Exercise Equipment Pics @ 1 giddyup core exerciser    skymall, 2 ROM  rom, 3  ab swing 2 fajitamonologues, AB swing  dealsdirect, 5 AB Rocket theworkoutwatchdog, 6 AB Shaper  musclemecca, 7 AB Shaper 2  builray-sports, 8 Chi Activator newdavincis, 10 AB Slider bofu-fitness, 12 skymallThe Bean Exerciser, 12 The Bean Exerciser  skymall, 14 Back Stretcher skymall, 15 elliptico3cbike    inhavbitat, 15a treadmillbike bikeforest, 16 Gazelle freestyle sfgate, 17 summer skiers  welove2ski, 18 Therma-roll  bodyandsoul, 18 weighted vest  bodyandsoul, 20 3-minute-legs  myfitnesspal, 22 Excel-Body-Gym fisugar, 23  TrainerMed     quake3world.

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Gnomes Behaving Badly

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Don’t trust Garden Gnomes. They’re not hangin’ in your garden, they’re casing the joint.’

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