18. Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

When are you gonna come down

When are you going to land

I should have stayed on the farm

I should have listened to my old man

You know you can’t hold me forever

I didn’t sign up with you

I’m not a present for your friends to open

This boy’s too young to be singing the blues

So goodbye yellow brick road

Where the dogs of society howl

You can’t plant me in your penthouse

I’m going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods

Hunting the horny back toad

Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies

Beyond the yellow brick road

,……………………………………….

Worst Elton John Tributes:

This is Eggton John.

You know you are Rock Star Royalty

when artist John Lamouranne turns you

into a celebrity Egg …

Secret Lives of the Rock Stars.

It can now be revealed. Elton is really a Pink Leprechaun.

……………………………….

Worst Elton John Merch:

And they all sing Crocodile Rock ……

if you remember when rock was young you might want to take them

with you to your Aged Care Home.

………………………………………

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘If you remember when Glam Rock was young, no way you fit into those tight baby blue satin pants any mo’, honey!’

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11. REM – Everybody Hurts

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,

when you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on.

Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along.

When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)

if you feel like letting go, (hold on)

 

when you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.

Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand.

If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,

when you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,

everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.

And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)

(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

…………………………………………

Worst REM Tribute:

This is the Shiny Happy People Cook Book

because Shiny Happy People are more tender than

dull, grumpy old geezers.

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madusa says ‘Buy your Losing My Religion T-Shirts with the 10 7 5 Commandments on the back.‘

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Unreal Tattoos: Badass Art

This piece began as a parody of  the classic American spiritual song ‘He’s got he whole world in his hands’ and then got terribly distracted.

He’s got the whole world on his butt

.

She’s got the whole world on her butt

.

She’s got a big mutt on her butt.

.

.

He’s got Disney world on his buns

.

He’s got Disney world on his buns

.

He’s got some big guns on his buns

.

.

He’s got a big joke on his arse

.

He’s got a big joke on his arse

.

He’s got some long grass on his arse

.

She’s got college kid’s world on her bum

.

He’s got college kids world on his bum

.

She’s got the party drum on her bum.

.

.

He’s got gamer’s world on his rear

.

He’s got gamer’s world on his rear

.

She’s got a cute bear on her rear

.

.

She’s got make-believe on her tush

.

She’s got make-believe on her tush

.
He’s got a George Bush on his tush

.

.

Acknowledgements: Amaaazing tattoos sourced @: 1 world oddee, 2 map  tattoospicturegallery, 3 wolf   rate my tattoo, 4 save elmo  buzzfeed, 5 dwarfs  i-am-bored, 6 gun butt  comedycentra, 7 alma fudd   rankmytattoo, 8 simpson butt  43things, 9 motor mower   collegehumor, 10grass  collegehumor, 11 drink    rankmytattoos, 12 bongo bottom  myfirstbodypainting, 13 pacman butt  tattoodonkey, 14 mario bros  kotaku, 15 bear  tattoodonkey, 16 fairy   bouncinbards,  17 tree butt  gegek, 18 bushbutt  lolviral, 19 the end collegehumor.

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To Fill the Unfillable Bra

With apologies to Joe Darion and all Man of La Mancha Devotees.

 

To dream … the impossible dream …

 .

To fight … the unbeatable foe …

 .

To bear … with unbearable sorrow …

 .

To run … where the brave dare not go …

 .

To right … the unrightable wrong …

 .

To love … pure and chaste from afar …

 .

To try … when your arms are too weary …

 .

To fill … the unfillable bra …

 .

This is my quest, to fill up that bra …

 .

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far …

 .

 To fight for a bust, without question or pause …

 .

To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause …

 .

And I know though I’m flat assed too, with a glorious bust,

 .

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm,

 .

when I’m laid to my rest …

  .

And the world will be better for this:

 .

That one girl, scorned for undersized bras,

 .

Still strove, with her last ounce of courage,

 .

To fill … the unfillable bra …

.

.

Fake Bananas:

Madam Madussa says ‘Thanks for the Mammaries’.

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with Mad Mad Madusa

Hello my pretties,

I am Madusa, the mad bitch Goddess of Brutal Reality.

Look into my eyes, um, eye and you will see reflected back the tragic frippery of your shallow fakeness.

Be Real. Obey.

 

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