Get Fit Gizmos Go Bananas

The Giddyup Core Exerciser:

Then Get Down and Dirty with some Rough Chaps!

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ROM 4-minute X-trainer comes with 6 reindeer

and GPS set for the South Pole. Time Travel App an Optional Extra.

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The AB Swing II: Swingers Have Twice the Fun Swinging with Two

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The AB Swing Hi Tech Prostate Exam/Vasectomy Combo Kit Deck Chair

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The AB Rocket: Launch

Yourself into Orbit Today

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The AB Shaper: How to Grow A Child in a Bottle

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BR-AB Shaper: 101 Things to Do with a Square Hula Hoop

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Chi Activator: Look Slim in an Instant by Stapling XS Fat Under Your Armpits

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AB Slider? No, I’m Trying to Build an IKEA Steel-Frame Bar Stool

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The Bean Exciser: Ideal for Birth and invert for Conception!

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Upper Body Exerciser Warning: Incorrect Useage May Case Blindness

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Back Stretcher or DIY Water Boarding Equipment for Your Bath

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Treadmill Bike: For Joggers who want to be Wankers

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Eliptico 3c Bike: For Joggers who want to be fitter, faster  Wankers

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The Gazelle Freestyle because, obviously, Gazelles Run Free in Walking Frames.

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The Summer Skier: Pole Dancing for Geeky Guys

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The Therma-Roll: Corrugate Your Butt to Get a Good non-Slip Grip on Plastic Chairs

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The Weighted Vest: If You Hadn’t Lost all that Weight You Fool, You wouldn’t need a Weighted Vest now, would you?

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The 3-Minute Legs: The Quickie for the single Girl in a Hurry

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The Excel Body Gym Orgasmatron!

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Trainer Med: The New Portable DIY HOme Torture Rack for the Fitness Aware Masochist

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The Freeform Board doubles as Hallelujah Praise-the-Lord Tambourine for Biblecise Classes

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Fake Bananas:

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Madam Madussa says ‘Bewarned: Once you step on that treadmill you can’t get off because you can never out run your own butt.’

Acknowledgements: Exercise Equipment Pics @ 1 giddyup core exerciser    skymall, 2 ROM  rom, 3  ab swing 2 fajitamonologues, AB swing  dealsdirect, 5 AB Rocket theworkoutwatchdog, 6 AB Shaper  musclemecca, 7 AB Shaper 2  builray-sports, 8 Chi Activator newdavincis, 10 AB Slider bofu-fitness, 12 skymallThe Bean Exerciser, 12 The Bean Exerciser  skymall, 14 Back Stretcher skymall, 15 elliptico3cbike    inhavbitat, 15a treadmillbike bikeforest, 16 Gazelle freestyle sfgate, 17 summer skiers  welove2ski, 18 Therma-roll  bodyandsoul, 18 weighted vest  bodyandsoul, 20 3-minute-legs  myfitnesspal, 22 Excel-Body-Gym fisugar, 23  TrainerMed     quake3world.

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Just Another Manic Massage

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Do you worry?

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Do you feel stressed?

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Are you plain pissed-off with life?

Do we have the solution for you?

What you need is a good old manic massage.

You could try the:

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The Head Kenzan: It grates dandruff

and aerates thick heads too.

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Electro massager: Good for outdoors.

Girl quickly converts to campfire hotplate.

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The Ucrown: The all New Jewish Massager. Thanks mom! Now Hanukkah will Hum.

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Neckpro: Kids, dad can’t say no in the Neckpro. Buy one for Father’s Day.

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The Airfoot: Sick of the Real Thing. Convert your girlfriend

to an Inflatable Girl today.

Inflatable male anatomy sold separately in three sizes.

Rubber Ducky Dick, Inflatable Tube-Man-Tool and The Hindenburg.

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The Back2LIfe Butt Tazer.

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Body Back Buddy: Your boyfriend not so big on commitment?

Now you can hook him under the crutch with your BBB

and drag him back into captivity.

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Gentle Motion Back Stretcher:

Releases pent up tension for the man with a deck chair fetish.

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Nosebuz makes dieting a breeze:

This remote controlled nostril alarm senses food, vibrates a warning

then drags you by the nose into the next room.

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The Headspa: Prevent hair loss permanently

by holding your follicles in your scalp

with this easy-to-wear bald-spot-be-gone clamp.

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Little Hand Massager: Are you missing a man in your life?

Do you long for those little man-hugs?

Now you can give yourself all the hunk-hunk burnin’ love hugs

you want with your mini-man little hand.

Batteries sold separately but well worth the investment.

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The Cell Roller will remove 10 pounds of ugly fat

from your thighs and hide it somewhere else

… maybe near your butt or,

if you really wanna work that roller, under your armpits.

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Electric

Massage Gloves: The man hand you can have

when your not having a man.

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O2 Massager because being Mrs Darth Vader feels sooooo good.

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Hula Chair: Because Occ. Health & Safety regulations

require girls to sit in a Hula Safety Chair

to swivel their hula hips.

Hands must grip safety handrail at all times.

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The Epiphany: for people who need to be hammered

on the back to think.

The epiphany is when you realise you look like an idiot,

who is fishing for their own kidney.

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The Tristar: The all-new massager/interstellar transporter:

Warning: Do not press the ‘Beam me up Scotty’ Button. 

It beams you up Scotty all right … up Scotty’s ahhhhhhhsssssss!!!!’

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Now don’t you feel all you worries have gone.

We can all get a good laugh now knowing …

… that massage technology has moved on from the fifties. Almost.

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Fake Bananas:

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Madam Madussa says ‘Just a little to the left. Lower. I’m a high knead friend.’

‘

Acknowledgements: Weird and wonderful devices from: 4 head Kenzan   gizmodo, 5 Massage device  tootoo, 6 ucrown 2   gizmodo, 7 neckpro traction device   skymall, 8 airfoot massage   gizmodiva, 9 Back to LIfe massger  skymall, 10 Body Back Buddy massager   skymall, 11 gentlemotion back stretcher   skymall, 12 nosebuz    memorable-days, 13 headspa massager  skymall, 14 back massager  inewidea, 15 cellroller  alexpress, 16 massagegloves   gadgethim, 17 O2 mask  mailonline, 18 hawii hula chair  wacktrap, 19 epiphany massager  skymall, 20 Tristar Massage    gizmodo.

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