Archive for the ‘Gadgets Go Bananas’ Category
Posted in Gadgets Go Bananas, tagged AB rocket, AB Shaper, Ab Swing devise, ABS of Steel, Body Gym Orgasmatron, Crazy Exercise Machines, Exercise Equipment, Fakinghell Blog, Fitness equipment joke, Fitness Joke, Funny Blog about all things Fake, Funny Exercise Equipment, Funny Exercise gadgets, Get Better ABS, Get Fit gizmos go bananas, Giddyup Core Exerciser, Improve Your ABS, Late NIght TV ADs for Fitness Equipment, Mad Mad Madusa, Strange Fitness gear, The 3-minute Legs, The GAxelle Freestyle Excerciser, The Therma Roll, Weird exercise equipment, Weird Exercise Gadgets on March 14, 2013| Leave a Comment »
Posted in Gadgets Go Bananas, tagged butt tazer, crazy massage gizmos, electric massage gloves, funny massage gadgets, Hula Chair, inflatable girl, Jewish Massager, Just Another Manic Massage, massage gizmo joke, Mrs Darth Vader, nose alarm, Tristar Massager, Ucrown, weird massage devices on February 19, 2013| Leave a Comment »
Do you worry?
Do you feel stressed?
Are you plain pissed-off with life?
Do we have the solution for you?
What you need is a good old manic massage.
You could try the:
The Head Kenzan: It grates dandruff
and aerates thick heads too.
Electro massager: Good for outdoors.
Girl quickly converts to campfire hotplate.
The Ucrown: The all New Jewish Massager. Thanks mom! Now Hanukkah will Hum.
Neckpro: Kids, dad can’t say no in the Neckpro. Buy one for Father’s Day.
The Airfoot: Sick of the Real Thing. Convert your girlfriend
to an Inflatable Girl today.
Inflatable male anatomy sold separately in three sizes.
Rubber Ducky Dick, Inflatable Tube-Man-Tool and The Hindenburg.
The Back2LIfe Butt Tazer.
Body Back Buddy: Your boyfriend not so big on commitment?
Now you can hook him under the crutch with your BBB
and drag him back into captivity.
Gentle Motion Back Stretcher:
Releases pent up tension for the man with a deck chair fetish.
Nosebuz makes dieting a breeze:
This remote controlled nostril alarm senses food, vibrates a warning
then drags you by the nose into the next room.
by holding your follicles in your scalp
with this easy-to-wear bald-spot-be-gone clamp.
Little Hand Massager: Are you missing a man in your life?
Do you long for those little man-hugs?
Now you can give yourself all the hunk-hunk burnin’ love hugs
you want with your mini-man little hand.
Batteries sold separately but well worth the investment.
The Cell Roller will remove 10 pounds of ugly fat
from your thighs and hide it somewhere else
… maybe near your butt or,
if you really wanna work that roller, under your armpits.
Massage Gloves: The man hand you can have
when your not having a man.
O2 Massager because being Mrs Darth Vader feels sooooo good.
Hula Chair: Because Occ. Health & Safety regulations
require girls to sit in a Hula Safety Chair
to swivel their hula hips.
Hands must grip safety handrail at all times.
The Epiphany: for people who need to be hammered
on the back to think.
The epiphany is when you realise you look like an idiot,
who is fishing for their own kidney.
The Tristar: The all-new massager/interstellar transporter:
Warning: Do not press the ‘Beam me up Scotty’ Button.
It beams you up Scotty all right … up Scotty’s ahhhhhhhsssssss!!!!’
Now don’t you feel all you worries have gone.
We can all get a good laugh now knowing …
… that massage technology has moved on from the fifties. Almost.
Madam Madussa says ‘Just a little to the left. Lower. I’m a high knead friend.’
Acknowledgements: Weird and wonderful devices from: 4 head Kenzan gizmodo, 5 Massage device tootoo, 6 ucrown 2 gizmodo, 7 neckpro traction device skymall, 8 airfoot massage gizmodiva, 9 Back to LIfe massger skymall, 10 Body Back Buddy massager skymall, 11 gentlemotion back stretcher skymall, 12 nosebuz memorable-days, 13 headspa massager skymall, 14 back massager inewidea, 15 cellroller alexpress, 16 massagegloves gadgethim, 17 O2 mask mailonline, 18 hawii hula chair wacktrap, 19 epiphany massager skymall, 20 Tristar Massage gizmodo.